• ZJ


‘Todays news is tomorrows chip paper’ – unless you work in TV and those images are immortalised in the STV archives forever. A bit dramatic, I know.

This week I was presenting Live At Five on STV2 over two days and I was reminded of the importance of test-driving outfits for telly. Posing in Topshop changing rooms doesn’t stand up to the sit down test in a studio.

I bought a Femme Wrap Midi Skirt from Oliver Bonas in the sale earlier in the week (a bargain at £20 reduced from £59.50). I paired it with a white cross back vest from River Island and my favourite White Bone necklace from Stella and Dot.

I had raced back from a late lunch, changing my adidas for some court shoes before entering the studio . As I was getting mic’d up I noticed the top was a bit wonky but the show must go on. And it did. We had an interview about the Cyrenians 50th anniversary and we spoke to Kilmarnock FC’s new Director – Phyllis McLeish – billed as a ‘landmark moment’ for the industry as she is one of only 10 female executives in Scottish football and it’s the first time in 20 years a woman will be an active board member at the club. She was impressive.

The chat itself went well and she even dropped us an exclusive about the manager Steve Clarke staying on for another season. Big news for fans and so the video was posted online.

The only problem was I had dropped the ball. Both my skirt and top had twisted and to be quite honest they both seemed like they were attempting to evacuate my body. The top should have been pulled back at the top or down at the front. The ruched skirt flashed a meaty thigh and the whole thing was a massive fashion fail.

There were comments online asking what was going on with my top. Suggesting I “looked a pure state’” and asking why anyone would go on the telly looking like that. Oh the shame. It’s just as well that with meaty thighs comes tough skin!

I needed some redemption.

I was presenting again but this time with Ewen Cameron. It’s been two years since we last shared a sofa on the Fountainbridge Show on STV Edinburgh. I wasn’t about to leave anything to chance; I played it safe with an old faithful. Last year I was asked to report on our first ever STV At The Races show, one of which came from Ayr. I was to pick up interviews with celebrities and punters (which resulted in one of the most barmy pictures ever with 5 After Midnight but that’s another story). I bought this dress from Jasper Conran for £59 and it was by far my best buy of 2017. Every dress should have two pockets. It’s comfy and generous in the sizing. Licking at my shins, it’s the perfect length and flattering and forgiving – tailored beautifully for apple shapes. The tie brings it in nicely at the waist to and the square top and neckline give balance to a shapely physique.

Winner. So clearly I took a million snaps – even Patsy Kensit insisted on having one with me and my fabulous dress…

But we will just ignore what I'm doing with my foot...